Thursday, September 16, 2010

  The Women of Faith Conference was great -  and we forgot the all important kleenex!  The speakers/singers were wonderful - women who are transparent enough to talk about their shortcomings even though they may 

seem to have it all together.  We laughed and cried with them over many incredibly touching stories {I’m so glad that women can let their guard(s) down and be real - not like those other folks who have trouble getting beyond their egos!}

  Terry’s at the IMTS show in Chicago this week and the product that he’s been part of developing was a great success.  I hope that he’ll be able to finally get some sleep when he gets home.  He pulled 2 all-nighters in the last 3 days before he left, and I was sure he’d have a heart attack or a stroke before he got on the plane!

  Next Monday, begins my 4th round of chemo; as Blair says - I get to take a vacation every 3 weeks!  That will be followed by new CAT/PET Scans and a bone marrow test (ouch!) to chart my progress.

  Greg Laurie had an interesting devotion today:

Kept in His Ways

For He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways.

— Psalm 91:11

The angels of God are nearer than you may think. They are all around us all the time, taking care of us and ministering to us, even when we are not aware of their presence. That is fine with them, because essentially 

they are God's secret agents, doing His bidding and the work He has called them to do. Many times, they 

have intervened in our lives and we didn't even know they were doing so.

According Psalm 91 and other passages of Scripture, angels are actively involved in the life of the Christian. Hebrews 1:14 says that they are ministering spirits, sent forth to minister to those who will inherit salvation. Hebrews 13:2 tells us not to be forgetful to entertain strangers, for in doing so, some have entertained angels without even knowing it. There are so many stories in the Bible of angels who delivered the people of God, 

such as Daniel in the lion's den and Peter in prison.

But as wonderful as the promise of angelic involvement in our lives is, we must first recognize what the

conditions are for this promise to be activated in our lives: "For He shall give His angels charge over you,

to keep you in all your ways" (Psalm 91:11). Recognize the fact that the phrase "to keep you in all your 

ways" is not referring to whatever path you choose, but to God's ways.

There is a difference between trusting the Lord and testing Him by taking unnecessary chances with your 

life or even endangering your spiritual safety by doing stupid things and expecting God to bail you out. God

will keep you in all your ways—but your ways must be His ways.

Monday, September 6, 2010

  The emotional slide wasn’t so bad; it’s kind of a given that I will cry - for any reason!  But this time, the 

Neulasta got me with achy flu-like symptoms and a general yucky feeling - a déja vu of morning sickness.  

I went to school on Friday because it was the big day when we post all the class lists on the front windows

of the office.  As it turned out, that was already handled, so I just tried to keep on track even though I was 

starting to feel awful.  

  I have made another decision -  I do very well on the 3 chemo days, the 4th day with the shot is so-so, 

and the 5th day, I’m going to allow myself to feel crummy - enough with being stoic.  If I feel like crawling 

under a rock, it’s okay - with no apologies (to myself).  When I left school on Friday, I was really ready to 

crawl under a rock and that’s exactly what I did (figuratively, of course) until Sunday evening, when I finally started to feel normal again.  One would think that I should have this figured out by now, but I’m still learning!

  I have to say that Terry was so patient through all this and kept offering to make me things to eat.  I had

read that food that you really like will often become impossible to get close to during this time, and “they”

were right.  The only things that worked were chunky peanut butter on toast and grilled cheese sandwiches.

The other thing that I noticed this time is that I have no stamina.  I got up Sunday morning to shower and

wash my hair so that I could go to church, and realized  that I had used up all my energy, got light-headed 

and went back to bed.  The beneficiary of all this, of course, is Buttons, our cat, who now has a buddy who 

can also sleep about 22 hours a day!

  I do want to say a HUGE “thank you” to the ladies at school who all pulled together to register the new 

kids, completely assemble the first day packets, and generally do what I have been responsible for over

the last 16 years at my school.  Opening a new school year is really a busy time and very stressful, 

and I’m so thankful that I was able to sleep through it this year!  You all are wonderful friends and I 

appreciate you so much!  

  School actually begins this Thursday, Sept. 9th, so I will work for 2 full weeks before I begin my 4th

round of chemo on Sept. 20th.  Following that round, I will have another PET/CAT Scan and bone marrow

test to assess my progress (I hope) towards remission.  Regardless of the results, I will have 2 more

rounds of chemo for sure.  Then we’ll see . . . 

  Blair, Lisa Schron, and I will be attending a Women of Faith Conference this weekend in Anaheim - it

should be wonderful and I know from experience that I need to take a BOX of kleenex with me.  Looking

forward to it!

   

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

   Today was the 3rd day of my third round of chemo.  Because of the coming holiday, my appointment

times have been later, which for some reason, has goofed me up.  I have not been a powerhouse when

I get home, ready to leap tall buildings at a single bound, staying up until 2:00 a.m.!  Instead, I’ve been 

tired and fall asleep early, then wake up at 2:00 for the rest of the night!  One of my nurses says that 

she has patients who save up their scrapbooking and tape movies to watch for times like these.

   Today, Terry’s mom sent us a CD of Bill and Gloria Gaither, whom we have enjoyed for years.  We 

had the CD going in the car and I have a bunch of their songs on my IPOD.  I have programmed my IPOD 

with a lot of great praise music and at chemo was listening to “In the Garden”, which is an old Christian 

song, and I guess that I was crying while I was listening to it.  I opened my eyes to see a very concerned 

nurse standing over me, asking me if I was okay.  (It’s 2:30 a.m. now, and Im listening to it again, crying, 

my nose dripping on my laptop.  TMI!)  Terry says that tears remove toxins, which is interesting, because 

while I’m being pumped full of toxins, my tears are helping to take them away!

   I guess that part of the reason that I am writing this blog is to tell the story from the inside out.  Until I 

had cancer, I never gave any thought to how it feels or what chemotherapy would be like.   A nurse also

told me this week that the anti-anxiety drug that they give us is to somehow alter any negatives that we 

might feel about getting the chemo or just going to the chemo center.  For me, it’s a strangely comforting 

process - even though I’m being pumped full of poison!

I have my special chemo socks, the snuggly blanket that Blair made for me a few years ago, and my 

IPOD that helps to lull me to sleep.  The mix of drugs that they give me before the chemo itself, really

takes the edge off of the procedure.  So, it is really easy!

   Tomorrow, I go for the shot of Neulasta, which is the white cell booster.  Also, I won’t have the steroids 

that I get with the chemo, so this is when I start to do my emotional slide - hopefully I won’t slide very far 

this time!

   Thanks again to all of you who have sent cards and continue to pray for my recovery . .  God is at work!